I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
