I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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