i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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