Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize