Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
