also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were trust falling into bushes
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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