Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
