I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
