She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
