If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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