what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize