weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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