Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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