he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
