Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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