obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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