I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
