You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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