Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
as a side note pls kill me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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