I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
