More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize