Its about making memories worth repressing
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
