I CAN MOONWALK!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
