you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
