I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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