I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
