You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
COCAINE IS GR8
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
