1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i've created a new STD.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
