just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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