ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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