in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
