we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
