I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
