You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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