so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
