After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
