Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
