What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
