Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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