TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
