We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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