The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
