I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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