Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
