you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
