Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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