Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
