I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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