Well douche your snatch and let's go!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I intend to get homeless drunk
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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