a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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