hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You're like the curious george of whores
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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