Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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