R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
they need to just BURY HIM!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
