when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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