watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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