Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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