I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
