U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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