Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize