I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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