By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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