She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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