the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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