that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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