That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
