Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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